My dad was my Valentine because duh.
Me: [A long tirade about how I've been missing Anthony Weiner lately, and how mad I am that he felt he had to resign even though his dick pic scandal had no bearing on his ability to do his job well and didn't violate anything in his job description because our culture blows and homicidal fuckups like Chris Brown can still be average at their jobs while competent human beings have to retire and sit and home and waste their smart brains because America is scared of sex.]
[a long pause]Dad (smiling and trying to be complimentary): Ya know, you're gonna make someone very happy someday.
Me (frowning): No, I'm gonna make myself very happy every day.
[another pause]Dad: Touche.
[We continue eating hamburgers.]
